At least he's not wearing a kippah (NYT)
OK, so I'm a little late on the Bark Mitzvah thing (18 months after Jewschool, apparently), but this is absolutely one of the most surreal stories I've ever read, line for line. And G-d help me, again, but I find this funny. I just can't get over the pictures of these well-heeled (no pun intended; there's enough of them in the story) Jewish pensioners crowding around that dog. It all sounds like it came straight out of an episode of Ally McBeal:
Colorful dips were set out in double-bowl dog dishes. There was a cake with a picture of the bar mitzvah candidate and his nickname, Boomie, written in English and Hebrew. In the foyer was a bowl of baby blue satin skullcaps, with Boomie's name and the date printed inside.... Admiral Boom, who wore a bib patterned with Stars of David, spent much of the party under the dining room table... Many checks were written for $50 or more, although some guests brought gifts like flavored rawhide chews....I do wonder, however, whether it was really appropriate for some guests to turn up in fur coats. Muzzle Tov!
UPDATE: Someone just sent me a story The Jerusalem Post wrote on Bark Mitzvahs in September, in which at least one rabbi (!) seems to be taking the joke rather too far:
A shehehyanu blessing is also recited, and the words from Fiddler on the Roof have been adapted, with the rabbi singing 'May God protect and defend you, may He always shield you from fleas.' And in an adaptation of the barchu blessing, the owners all kneel, alongside their dogs. A bark-mitzva certificate is then issued to each four-legged participant along with a bark-mitzva photograph for a token fee.Can't you just give them a bone or something?
'We do this event mostly as a lark,' says Comess-Daniels. 'But,' he adds, 'the reality is that there is this beautiful underlying seriousness to it that everyone brings, recognizing what an important part of our families our animals are.'