Is Michael Jackson's head a place you really want to get into?

Uri Geller is milking Michael Jackson's acquittal for all it's worth, and has just published one of the most sychophantic and yet at the same time self-centered and altogether pukey pieces I've ever read. He uses the UK's Daily Telegraph (which should really know better -- but I guess it's trying to compete with the tabloid Times) to repeat the bizarre claim he made last year that he hypnotized Michael Jackson to find out if he was really a child abuser:

When he confessed to me that he needed more than motivation, that he wanted to
be hypnotised, I was surprised.....
I agreed to place him in a hypnotic trance and to manipulate his sub-conscious, to direct his mind. It's a technique I have used many times on heavy smokers who are trying to quit. He was a remarkably suggestible subject for hypnosis. Within a few seconds he had surrendered his will and was allowing me to lead him into a relaxed state of trance. I have hypnotised many people, and it's easy to tell if they are faking. A good subject can eat a whole onion in the belief that it's a sweet apple. Michael was an excellent subject.
If I was to become this man's friend, if I was going to introduce him to my family and invite him to dine with us, there was something I had to discover, for my own peace of mind, while he was in a trance. "Michael Jackson," I said, "tell me with total honesty - what was the real story behind the allegations of sexual abuse made against you by the boy Jordie Chandler?" He answered without hesitation: "It was all made up. His family just wanted my money."
"Why did you pay the family?"
"It was the easiest thing to do." The statement was simple and unembroidered, made without sufficient pause to invent a lie. "I couldn't take it any more. I'd had enough."
"Have you ever touched a child or a young person in a way that you shouldn't?" I asked. And he replied: "Never. I would never do that. My friendships with children are all very beautiful."
Later, he told me that hypnosis had brought immediate benefits, of calmness and focus, but I am certain he did not remember the series of searching questions I raised at the end of the session. While he was still under hypnosis, I ordered him to forget I had ever asked. Maybe it was not ethical of me, but I had to know - and I believed what he told me. Sadly, it seemed as if many others did not believe his denials, despite an absence of real evidence which, I am told, would have ensured that in this country the case would have been thrown out of court.
Thank God, the jury agreed with me.

Or perhaps, Ur, they were agreeing with Michael Jackson's new confidante and spokesman, a magician who attended court at part of Michael's entourage? Sounds like Michael's paranormal needs are currently being met elsewhere....