Thursday, July 29, 2004

FBFs go public

From this week's New York Observer, an article on 'frum' people posting ads for casual sex on Craigslist.org (and leaving other visitors, apparently, bemused at the word 'frum': does it stand for "fru-strated, m-arried?"):
It turns out that the deeply religious have sexual tastes as mundane as the rest of us. "Single frum guy for single frum girl for fun!" wrote one 24-year-old. "Married, frum guy looking for a frum girl (married or unmarried) for some NSA [no strings attached] fun. We can have good time ‘learning’ together," a 31-year-old posted.
"Frum married guy looking for frum guy to explore," wrote another, continuing: "I am a frum married 28 yr old guy … during the summer my wife will be upstate and I am looking to explore having sex with a man … please be frum."
That’s not to say that this frum frenzy hasn’t ushered in a whole range of heretofore unimaginable caveats such as "We could do as little as you want," written by a gentle soul seeking a frum woman, and "No chassidish," written by a 24-year-old married Manhattanite... Or, less chastely, a poster seeking "Frum girls gone wild" for an orgy in Brooklyn, or another one advertising a Yahoo group for married frumsters seeking "extracurricular fun."
A quick search on Craigslist confirmed that there are, indeed, many postings from 'frum' people looking for casual sex with other 'frum' people. Not that this is really news; everyone knows it's going on. The rather technical question that popped into my mind, however, is: why are they looking for other 'frum' Jews? Surely they have a better chance of keeping things quiet, especially if they are cheating on spouses, if they go outside the community?
The only answer I could think of was that another 'frum' person would have a similar stake in confidentiality. Or is this a kind of a racism / 'frum' snobbery, that even the person you cheat with / have casual sex with should be an ehrlicher Yid?

(Hat tip: My Urban Kvetch)

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