Kosher capers

A rabbi "somewhere in Canada", who is also a prison chaplain, had to make his pre-Rosh Hashanah visit to the local jail. Knowing that he would be there most of the day, he went equipped with 'tzeida la'derech' (= food for the journey ) - in this case the technologically advanced self-heating kosher meals from LaBriute meals. These work by water-activated heat-producing chemical reaction, and basically, the food cooks in the packet.
The Rav went to have his lunch in the Chaplain's office, shared by the Catholic and Protestant clergy. He 'activated' the kosher meal, went out to wash his hands, and returned to the table to make the brachah (blessing), which he did out loud. As he finished making the brachah, the food package started to steam and jump around, as the heat did its job ..... The other two Chaplains took one look at this scene -- and fled the room ............

• Heard from the same pulpit: Rabbi's phone rings and rings at 3:30AM. Finally, he answers it. "Rabbi, I'm sorry, am I waking you up?" opens the caller. "No, it's OK, I was already awake on the first ring".